Akatsuki Talks
by Angel of Darknessness
Summary: Some Akatsuki members discuss their feelings with random things...Complete randomness!
1. Kisame

-1**Kisame talks to one of his relatives**

Kisame was sitting by the lake, staring at his reflection in the water… When suddenly a blue fish jumped up, causing the water to ripple. Kisame smiled and said, "Hello there. Are you feeling down too?"

The fish kept his head above water, and moved his lips.

"….."

"What? Your family left you? I'm sorry… I left my family."

"….."

"Why? Because my father was always complaining about my appearance and my mom… well she wasn't very helpful…"

"….."

"Yes. She was a fish."

"….."

"I'm only part fish. My dad was a human."

"….."

"Yea, some humans are stupid…"

"….."

"Because I can't breathe underwater for as long as a regular fish."

"….."

"Yes. I have gills, but I haven't used them in a long time."

"….."

"I don't know… Maybe…"

Then, Itachi walked up and stared at Kisame.

"Kisame? Who are you talking to?"

"….."

"He says, he's my 3rd cousin twice removed." Kisame replied, not looking at Itachi.

Itachi twitched, and slowly walked away.

"No one likes us fish types…"

"….."

"Though, we will rule the world one day! You'll see!"

**The End**


	2. Tobi

**Tobi -the good boy- meets Tobi - the rock**

Tobi was just walking around all by his self… When suddenly… he tripped…over a rock.

After getting up, Tobi looked down and picked up the rock. He said,

"Hello rock!"

"….."

"My name is Tobi. Tobi is a good boy."

"….."

Tobi gasped, "Your name is Tobi too?"

"….."

"No way! So, you name is Tobi. Tobi the good rock. What a coincidence!"

"….."

"I'm in Akatsuki. It's a cool organization." Tobi nodded, coolly.

"….."

"Are you in Akatsuki?"

"….."

"What!? The leader wouldn't let you in?"

"….."

"Why?"

"….."

Tobi gasped again. "That's not nice."

"….."

"I'll talk to the leader. Maybe I can get you in." Tobi winked, and walked off with the rock.

After a brief walk, Tobi found the leader.

"Hello leader!" Said Tobi.

"Um, hello, Tobi…" Said Leader

They stared each other for a moment. Then leader asked,

"Why are you holding a rock?"

"The rock's name is Tobi. He is a good rock. He wants to join Akatsuki!"

"Um, I'm sorry Tobi but the rock can't join us…"

Tobi started to tear up. "But why?"

"BECAUSE HE'S A ROCK TOBI!!"

Tobi started to cry. "ROCKS HAVE FEELING TOO, LEADER-SAN!!"

The leader walked off on Tobi. Tobi sighed, and put Tobi the rock down.

"I'm sorry, Tobi. I failed…"

"….."

"Ah, thanks Tobi." Tobi smiled, and skipped off.

**The End**


	3. Zetsu

-1**Zetsu meets Fern**

All of the Akatsuki members have started dating. All except Zetsu that is. He was resting against a tree when a breeze blew by and something brushed up against his leg. He took out a kunai, and looked down.

"Oh, it's just a plant…"

"….."

"My apologies. What is your name?"

"….."

"Beautiful. My name is Zetsu."

"….."

"I'm part human, part plant, so I don't have a genus/ species name… sorry."

"….."

"Yes, I am single…"

"….."

"I hate when that happens…"

"….."

"No, I haven't been stepped on before. But I have been elbowed a couple of times."

"….."

"Yes, I am alright."

"….."

"I'm here because I don't have a date…"

"….."

"Really?"

"….."

"But wouldn't that kill you?"

"….."

"I'm sure we could have a perfect picnic or something here."

"….."

"I'll be right back." A few moments later Zetsu returned with some plant food, and a steak. "Here." He sprinkled the plant food in the soil. "You're welcome!" He smiled, kindly.

"….."

"Yea, I think I like you too."

**The End**


	4. Itachi

-1**Itachi and Doors…**

**(I got this idea from a video off Youtube) **

Itachi has gone blind, and has trouble getting around. One day, he ran into a door… and hit his head a little too hard…

"Ouch! Stupid door…"

"….."

"What? You aren't stupid?"

"….."

"Oh, well you hit me, therefore you are stupid."

"….."

"Oh, I did? I'm sorry… I should have realized your were closed."

"….."

"….um…"

"….."

"Special abilities? I have the Sharingan… What about you?"

"….."

"Interesting… If I did that, I'd get hit back…"

"….."

"That was probably Kisame…"

"….."

"He's the blue one."

"….."

"Oh, maybe it was Zetsu. Sometimes his big head blocks his vision."

"….."

"Black hair you say? Hm… could have been Kakuzu…"

"…..!!"

"Me? Oh, I'm sorry!"

"….."

"Thanks."

With his sharingan, Itachi looked around. Since the cost was clear, Itachi leaned forward and hugged the door.

The leader walked by and spit out the water he had in his mouth. "ITACHI! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!?"

**The End**


	5. Pein

-1**Pein discusses his problems with people in pain**

"So then she said, I'll see you later… Does that mean I'm in trouble, or she just wants to see me?"

"AHHHHHHH!" A guy was on the ground, screaming.

"Our relationship has been going fine. I mean, I haven't been running around telling people about it… Do you think that's why she's upset?"

"AHHHHHHH!" The dude was still screaming…

"No, that couldn't be it… What if I forgot an important date of some sort? Maybe her birthday… or our anniversary?"

"AHHHHHHH!" Still screaming…

"You're right. We aren't married yet, so that shouldn't be the issue."

"AHHHHHHH!" ….screaming…

"What if she found another guy that is stronger than I am!?"

"AHHHHHHH!" ….dying…

"No, no, no one is stronger than me!"

The dude passed out…

"… Idiot! How dare you fall asleep while I'm talking to you!" Pein kicked the man and stormed off.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I DO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**The End**


	6. Konan

-1**Konan Shares Her Feelings About Pein With Paper**

While folding paper, Konan begins ranting on how much she secretly loves Pein…

"….."

"You're right. He has to feel the same way!"

"….."

"Is it? I guess I just haven't noticed…"

"….."

"It's weird isn't it?"

"….."

"You're right. You're right…"

"….."

"You think? He does have a world to take over…"

"….."

"If you think about it that way, it does sound sweet."

"….."

"True, he couldn't run this place without me."

"….."

"….. do you think? No, it's too soon…"

"…..?"

"Yes. Though I don't think he's ready."

"….."

"I'm not sure…"

"….."

"No, we haven't told anyone."  
"….."

"We can't or it would ruin our image!"

"….."

"No! As bad guys!"  
"….."

Konan sighed, "You're right…"

"….."

"I am. We're talking tonight."

"….."

"Akatsuki stuff."

"……"

"Fine, I'll bring it up…."

**The End**


	7. Kakuzu

-1**Kakuzu Loves His Money**

"180... 181... 182..." Kakuzu was counting his money…

An hour later…

"508 dollars and 63 cents!" Kakuzu concluded.

He looked around, and then threw his money up in the air, and laid in it.

"….."

"What's that money?"

"….."

"You want me to keep you forever?"

"….."

"Of course I will. I love you!"

"….."

"Not like that! More like a friend."

"….."

"No!"

"….."

"That idiot can get his own money. You're mine!"  
"….."

"Why would you want him?"

"….."

"What!? You want me to spend you?"  
"….."

"….what?"

"….."

"well you'll just have to get over it!"

"….."

"Oh yea, I could see that….' Hello I'm in the biggest criminal organization in the world and I would like to start a savings account…"

"….."

"Fine! I'll buy a piggy bank and put you in it…"

"….."

"Pink!? Why pink?"

"….."

"That's stupid…"

The money attacked Kakuzu in his sleep that night…

**The End**


	8. Deidara

-1**Deidara talks to himself**

"Today is so boring hm…" Deidara was outside, taking a stroll around the Akatsuki hideout.

"I wish I had a mission or something to do… hm…" Deidara sighed.

"Well you could stop bickering and feed us!"

"Ya! Feed us!"

Deidara stopped, and looked around. "Who's there hm?"

"Down here dingbat!"

"Ya! Down here!"

"Huh? I don't see anything…" He stared at the ground.

"On your hands dufus!"

"Ya! Dufus!"

Hesitantly, Deidara turned his hands over.

"Hello there!" The mouths in his hands greeted.

Deidara's eyes twitched. Then he screamed, "SINCE WHEN CAN YOU TALK?!"

"We've always been able to talk."

"Ya! Always."

"Then why haven't you said anything before?" Deidara asked, not sure if he should be scared or in awe that he had talking hands.

"Because… we've never had anything to say."  
"Ya! Nothing to say!" Both of the mouths grinned.

Deidara shuddered and looked up to find Hidan staring at him blankly.

"What?" Deidara asked.

"Who in the heck are you talking to?" Hidan questioned.

Deidara held up his hands, and replied. "Them! They can talk."

Hidan stared at the mouths in Deidara's hands, but nothing happened. "Sure they can talk… Hey have you had your medication today?"

"I DON'T TAKE MEDICATION!!" Deidara screamed.

After Hidan walked off, Deidara started shouting at the mouths in his hands.

"I hate you…"


End file.
